she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
Randomize
