So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
Randomize