I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
