Hey sorry for feelin' up your date. Sadly, this is a mass txt.
I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
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