i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
Randomize
