Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
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