when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
Randomize
