THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
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