I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
I sent the random girl I had sex with last night a 'happy mothers day' text as a reminder to get the morning after pill.
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
Randomize
