My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
I just poured my flask into a drink. Then I realized the drink belonged to the guy next to me so I stole it from him. He confronted me and I made out with him to distract him. When I looked up, I realized his wife was watching. Its barely 10:00.
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
