Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
The adults are the big ones right?
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
Randomize
