i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
I wish there was an emoji for sad lady boners
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize