Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
Randomize
