So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
Randomize
