I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
You were face down in the punch bowl, humming the theme to jaws
That explains the stains on my shirt
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize
