Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
Randomize
