Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
Randomize
