you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
Randomize
