Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
I love that my idea of a romantic gesture to you is to send you a picture of my vomit saying "wish you were here". You voluntarily dated me. For six years ish.
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
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