thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
Randomize
