I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
I wish I could have two rating systems on iTunes. "This one is a 5 star. This one is only a 5 star when I'm baked."
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
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