I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
Naked. naked and bneed help.
It's amazing how hard it it while drunk to not comment "fuck you" on dumb peoples' statuses
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
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