Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
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