covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
