I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
