every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
Randomize