i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
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