god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
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