at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
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