i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
Randomize
