did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
he kept farting in my kitchen and blaming it on the dog. then we went to wendy's and he spent twenty minutes in the bathroom. im pretty sure he shit his pants.
you should have known when you found out he drove a mini cooper not to hang out with him.
I set the bag of cheetos on the open box on my coffee table while I was watching TV. I was so high I ate half of the styrofoam peanuts in the box by accident. Am I going to die?
I hope so
Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
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