Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now.
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
Randomize
