The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
my poor anus
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
My roommate taped his phone to the ceiling fan to simulate walking so he could hatch Pokémon. Lazy people will always find a way.
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
Randomize
