I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
