Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
Randomize
