You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
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