do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
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