Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
you would pick up someone in the library
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
Randomize
