you would pick up someone in the library
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
Randomize