I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
i like how i just referred to his pregnant wife as the "other" melissa and you didn't even judge me.
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
Randomize
