she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
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