eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
I am unfriending an ex-one night stand because his profile picture is of his wife's ultrasound.
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
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