Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
I'm currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
just to let you know, that was probably the funniest text i've ever received.
I suppose that kind of helps fill the void where my self respect used to be.
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
Randomize
