i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
Terrible idea I love it
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Randomize
