dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
I told him I would only take his calls if he was dead, dying, capturing a midget, or buying me shots.
I stand by my new policy.
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
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