I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
that is very illegal...i love you.
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
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