Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
Randomize
