I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
Randomize
