What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
