Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
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