morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
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