His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
Randomize
