Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
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