Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
Randomize
