here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
Randomize
