Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
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