Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
Text me some of your sweat
Randomize
