i just google imaged poop.
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
Randomize
