Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
The shit I just took was my body's way of telling me bourbon and mixed nuts aren't an appropriate dinner. Well played, colon. WELL. PLAYED.
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize
