Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
Randomize
