my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
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