The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
Panties = found
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
Randomize