oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
Make note: the first date is too soon to make the "condoms are only for making balloon animals" joke.
you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
Oh, btw, UPS might come by. Drunk me ordered us $75 worth of gummy airhead starburst type candies. Whatever it is, it'll be delicious.
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
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