naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Randomize
