Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
It’s just a penis. It’s like every other penis except it’s not the one you’re married to. Ride it or don’t ride it, but don’t agonize about it
Your not going to hell because you need some strange and the neighbor noticed you look damn good in a bikini
Randomize
