I thought you should know that you passed out in your trash can last night.
Thanks for throwing up on me.
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
Randomize
