You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
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