Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
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