The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
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